March is the season of farewells. With graduations and job transfers, people all over Japan say "goodbye" and "see you later" more than usual as they head off to different places.
You will often see scenes of saying goodbye, such as seeing off close friends or colleagues you worked with.



Inevitably, this time will bring about changes in the distance between you and your friends.
This is a hectic season, so it's more of a time of "moving apart" rather than "coming closer." You'll find yourself getting distracted by other things and spending less time with friends.

There are things you can only understand when you move away. Even Mount Fuji's true shape can be seen better when viewed from a distance.
Just like a hand mirror, you don't notice it when you look closely because you only see part of it.

The origin of the word "friend" is "Fri (love) and end (thing)"

My middle school English teacher once taught me that the roots of the word "friend" (Old English) are fri (to love) and end (thing), and I still remember this because the word "love" makes me feel like I'm in the adult world.

I felt like the meaning of friends had changed from the innocent image I had of them in elementary school, "Can I make 100 friends?"
I remember being immersed in the feeling, "Friends are people you love...how dramatic..."

Since then, every time I got to know new people through going to college or changing classes, I would wonder, "Who could I possibly love?", and I would feel a little nervous about making friends, but now that I'm an adult, I may not have many friends.
Loving so many people can be a bit of a burden and it's difficult to balance that with the amount of work.

So, what are your criteria for being a special friend?
Previously, in my practical psychology class, I had students discuss the topic of "How can I find lifelong friends?" The question that started it all was, "What is the difference between an acquaintance and a friend?"

Are we special friends because we meet every holiday?
No, a special friend might also be someone who, even if you haven't seen each other for a long time, can instantly go back in time and hug you as soon as you meet again.

Are special friends the ones you can talk to about your worries?
No, maybe there are some things you can't say because they are a special person?

How to find a potential partner

According to data from the 2015 "Marriage and Childbirth in Modern Japan" (results of a survey of 5,334 couples) conducted by the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research every five years, 5.3% of married couples met their current spouse through an arranged marriage (including marriage agencies), while the rest of the couples met through work, school, childhood friends, etc.

In other words, consider the data that shows that approximately 95% of couples find their partner through friends.
Couples who started out as friends and ended up getting married met their spouses while they were still friends.
Here, the author has a message for you, the reader of this article, if you are thinking about getting married in the future.
Let me suggest a way to find a friend who may love you forever.

1. Someone who can put your strengths into words.

"Your hair is beautiful" "I think your voice is wonderful"
"You're a good cook" "You're so kind"

Someone who may love you forever will tell you directly about your good points. This is because they are interested in you and have observed you closely. They will find your good points and tell you about them honestly and without reservation in order to reassure you and give you confidence.
Because they are loving people who know that strengths build confidence.

2. Someone who can put your weaknesses into words and explain them to you.

"I think that's a little different. The reason is..."

Someone who may love you forever won't suddenly become sulky, distant, and silent and make you feel insecure when your flaws show up.

They will explain the reasons and offer their opinions so that you don't get hurt. This is because they are not denying or criticizing you, but are honest enough to ask you to "wait a moment," even knowing that they may dislike you, so that you can be loved by others in the future.

3. Someone who will rush to your aid as quickly as possible when you are in real trouble.

In Dazai Osamu's "Run Melos," Melos' friend Selinuntius becomes a hostage of the tyrant King Dionysus at Melos's request in order to save Melos.
The person who may love you forever will do what you want them to do when misfortune or trouble comes your way, and will help you do what you want, not what they want to do for you.
Because that person believes that your life will be a happy one.

March is the season of goodbyes.
That's why now is the time to realize whether this person is someone who might love you forever, or someone you could love forever.

When you move or get transferred and are separated from your partner, you realize their existence after saying "goodbye, see you later."
Please feel it along with goodbye.