October.
What plans do you have on your calendar this month?

This month's photo on the desk calendar on my desk is a lake scene with autumn leaves.
The beautiful color of the broadleaf trees is reflected on the lake surface.

There are only three calendars left for this year, so it's about time to start preparing the new year's calendars from next month.

Speaking of which, the refills for the system planner from the manufacturer that I have been using for over 20 years also go on sale in stores every October.

I also use a smartphone calendar app for work, but I still feel more secure writing things down on paper, so I use my planner as a daily memo pad.

In English, a planner is called a journal or notebook, but British people sometimes refer to a planner as a diary.

I rarely keep calendars that are out of date, but I find it hard to throw away old planners.
So when I open a planner from a long time ago and look at it, I feel nostalgic, as if I'm reading a diary, and memories come back to me.

Now, I'm sure some of you have your wedding plans written down on your calendar for this month and next month.
It could be your own wedding or a ceremony you've been invited to.

Apparently, October and November are the months with the most weddings in Japan every year.

This time of year is known as the peak season for weddings, as outdoor venues can be used for garden weddings and the weather is neither too hot nor too cold with little rain, meaning that venues tend to fill up early.

Is it jealousy or envy that keeps you from being happy about your friend's marriage?

"I've been feeling a bit depressed lately. Ever since I received a wedding invitation from a friend..."

At this time of year, I occasionally hear comments like this.

"Maybe I'm just jealous of other people's happiness..."

If you're reading this article, you may have felt the same way.

When I heard that a close friend was getting married, I felt happy but also confused.
Isn't this an emotion that every woman experiences at least once?

Now, let's try to sort this out.

Jealousy and envy are different emotions .

Psychologically, jealousy is said to be an emotion that causes one to fear that the person one loves will fall in love with another being, leading to envy and hatred of that being .

My friend is suffering from the fact that she has developed a connection with a specific partner other than me and is getting married.
In this case, it's a three-way relationship between you, the other person, and the partner they've chosen. In other words, it feels like you've lost your only precious friend.

Envy is also an envious emotion .
It is the feeling of anger that someone else has achieved happiness and is fulfilled by it, not you. There is a relationship between two people here.

So, the reason why I can't be happy for my friends' happiness is because

A: Jealousy towards the marriage partner that a friend has chosen
B: Feeling anger and envy when a friend finds happiness and changes

Either of these two types will apply.

In his Rhetoric, the ancient philosopher Aristotle defined envy as "the pain caused by the good fortune of others."

So, if you feel depressed when your friend gets married, it may be because of a complex mix of jealousy and envy.

Could your friend's "wedding high" be an opportunity to reexamine your own views on marriage?

The state of elation and euphoria experienced by people who have decided to get married is described as a wedding high .

When you're excited, your emotions get too high and you lose sight of what's going on around you.

As mentioned earlier, our jealousy and envy will only intensify when we interact with friends who are in a wedding high.

When I see someone who looks happy, I sometimes just feel that it's nice.
This is positive envy. Envy can be good.

However, envy can also manifest as distressing low self-esteem when others have desirable items that you lack.
A friend's wedding is an opportunity to reassess your own views on marriage.

And our values ​​can change little by little.

After attending a gorgeous wedding reception, some people may think, "I want my wedding to have a more modest atmosphere," while others may be influenced by an intimate wedding reception and think, "I want a ceremony like that. It'll be fun!"

Or you might feel that just getting married and having a honeymoon is enough for me.

Or, some people may vaguely think, "Maybe I don't need to get married."

In this way, the more you attend someone else's wedding, the closer your image of marriage will become to your true aspirations.

So even if you find your friend's wedding high painful, it's a great opportunity to reconsider your view of marriage.

By the way, autumn is also the season for outings, and travel is as popular as weddings. The wedding and travel periods are divided as follows:

• High season (busy season)
• Regular season (normal period)
• Low season

These are determined by the popularity of the event, but there is another season.
That is the best season .

When it comes to marriage and travel, the best time for each person is different.

There may be a page for this best season in your calendar or planner in the future, even if you don't have it with you right now.

For example, the climbing season for Mount Fuji is in midsummer, but when viewed in midwinter, Mount Fuji looks even more beautiful covered in snow.

It is also said that the air is clearer in autumn than in midsummer, when there are many fireworks festivals these days, making the fireworks look better.

As such, the best time to visit, regardless of the high season, may vary and change depending on your values.

The word "autumn" in British English comes from the Latin word meaning "harvest season."

Autumn is the season of harvest, when you can notice things you didn't notice before.

Even if you are hurt by your friend's wedding high, that moment of hurt is your chance to realize something.

Calendars and notebooks are for writing down what's to come.
Other people's marriages give you an opportunity to think about how you want to live your life from now on.

What will you harvest this season?

If you find any, please write them down in your future diary.

This fall may be the best season for you to change your life!